Confession

I have a confession to make. I like country music. I mean I really like it. Not all of it, but an awful lot of it. More than makes folks comfortable. And it isn't because I moved to Ohio. I can trace it back to high school when I used to watch this tv show, and I can't recall the name now, but they used to line dance on there. They'd be Achy Breaking and Boot Scootin their asses off, and I was like, "damn, look at those white people dancing their asses off!" It fascinated me. So then I'd watch the videos, and I guess that as a writer I grew a DEEP respect of the lyricism of the music. I'm not really a fan of the twang, but those lyrics are undisputedly passionate if you just listen to them. But I know most of the hip-hop generation can't deal with the lack of percussion, cuz it bothers me a little too, but it's about the heart. I'm gonna share some of my favorite lyrics.


You Ain't Woman Enough (To Take My Man) by Loretta Lynn
You've come to tell me something you say I ought to know
That he don't love me anymore and I'll have to let him go
You say you're gonna take him oh but I don't think you can
Cause you ain't woman enough to take my man
Women like you they're a dime a dozen you can buy 'em anywhere
For you to get to him I'd have to move over and I'm gonna stand right here
It'll be over my dead body so get out while you can
Cause you ain't woman enough to take my man

Sometimes a man start lookin' at things that he don't need
He took a second look at you but he's in love with me
Well I don't know where they leave you oh but I know where I'll stand
And you ain't woman enough to take my man
Women like you they're a dime...
No you ain't woman enough to take my man

Don't Come Home A Drinkin' (With Lovin' On Your Mind)- by Loretta Lynn
Well you thought I'd be waitin' up when you came home last night
You'd been out with all the boys and you ended up half tight
But liquor and love that just don't mix leave a bottle or me behind
And don't come home a drinkin' with lovin' on your mind
No don't come home a drinkin' with lovin' on your mind
Just stay out there on the town and see what you can find
Cause if you want that kind of love well you don't need none of mine
So don't come home a drinkin' with lovin' on your mind
You never take me anywhere because you're always gone
Many a night I've laid awake and cried dear all alone
And you come in a kissin' on me it happens every time
No don't come home a drinkin' with lovin' on your mind
No don't come home a drinkin'...
No don't come home a drinkin' with lovin' on your mind


And what has got to be one of the funniest country music songs EVER not because of the lyrics per se, but because it shows how much hip-hop has INVADED every aspect of pop culture. If you saw this video on mute, you'd wonder, who's the country white rapper? Because there is more ass shaking in this video than "the man" allows. Everybody wants an ass now! I mean Everybody!


Honky Tonk Badonkadonk by Trace Adkins
Turn it up some
Alright boys, this is her favorite song
You know that right
So, if we play it good and loud
She might get up and dance again
Ooh, she put her beer down
Here she comes
Here she comes
Left left left right left
Whoo

Husslers shootin' eightball
Throwin' darts at the wall
Feelin' damn near 10 ft. tall
Here she comes, Lord help us all
Ol' T.W.'s girlfriend done slapped him outta his chair
Poor ole boy, it ain't his fault
It's so hard not to stare
At that honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk
(Aww son)

Now Honey, you can't blame her
For what her mama gave her
You ain't gotta hate her
For workin' that money-maker
Band shuts down at two
But we're hangin' out till three
We hate to see her go
But love to watch her leave
With that honky tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
With that honky tonk badonkadonk
(Ooh, that's what I'm talkin' bout right there, honey)

We don't care bout the drinkin'
Barely listen to the band
Our hands, they start a shakin'
When she gets the urge to dance
Drivin' everybody crazy
You think you fell in love
Boys, you better keep your distance
You can look but you can't touch
That honkey tonk badonkadonk
Keepin' perfect rhythm
Make ya wanna swing along
Got it goin' on
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk

That honky tonk badonkadonk
Yeah, that honky tonk badonkadonk

(That's it, right there boys, that's why we do what we do
It ain't for the money, it ain't for the glory, it ain't for the free whiskey
It's for the badonkadonk)

Ok now SOMEBODY get me back to the Urban experience please. Please? PLEASE!