Shorties
This week children provided the majority of my entertainment. They say the darndest things. And do the craziest ish!
My son Jordan told me he was tired of everyone talking about my book and not his. I told him he was jealous. He told me he wasn't jealous he was a journalist. I asked him what a journalist was. He said someone who writes. He told me he has a book coming out and it's called the Biggest Club in the World. He is 5. I was floored. That was the best thing he could have ever said. He's a great little artist, a good photographer, and has a great imaginination. I am now obsessed with him becoming a writer.
My "neice" Jewels sang Honkey Tonk Badonkadonk to me. Yes she's black. Yes I know and love the song. She is also 5. She cracked me the hell up. The whole time my son Jordan is like "don't say that word. ooh you said a bad word." I had to explain that Honkytonk is not the word Honky. My child detests any profanity or vulgarity. He so did not inherit that from me. Or his dad. Proof that children get here so pure and untainted. We put the garbage in their heads. Jewels also told me that men could model in tuxedos but they had to pose a certain way, and she proceded to throw up peace signs and gaze into the distance. She looked at her watch. She hit the one knee pose. She was doing it. Then she did the runway. I fell out laughing. She makes me want a daughter.
Caden, is another shorty who is 3 and too too cute. He can be very sweet and childlike one minute. But the next... He's still sweet and charming, but I swear he is chaneling a 30 year old man's spirit. Possibly Biggie Smalls. He greeted me at the door singing something I couldn't quite understand. He was very lively and animated. Even though I didn't understand what was going on I was too entertained because his hair was all wild and curly and I wanted to pinch his little cheeks thinking "aww he's singing a little nursery rhyme" and then one thing came out loud and clear. "I love it when they call me Big Poppa, throw your hands in the air if you's a true player cuz I see some ladies tonight who should be havin my baby. Baby!" Then he ran away and started playing blocks and cars with Jordan.
When Jordan was like 2, he fell in love with Usher. He watched the 8701 concert dvd everynight. He memorized it ALL. Every moan, sigh, shout, EVERYTHING. And he added in costume changes. He would put on my Fedora for My Way, his Braves hat (he made me buy one) for You Make Me Wanna, and made me a backup dancer and wardrobe stylist. He did this EVERY SINGLE DAY. Let's just put it this way, if I were at a club and You Don't Have To Call came on, you'd see that I'm actually real nice when it comes to dancing and I should be on tour with Usher or at least in his video. Folks used to come to my crib and just enjoy the show. He outgrew it though after Confessions got old. But for 2 and a half years, Usher was the man in our crib. I'm so glad Ursher took a break!
Then on the flip side I see My Super Sweet 16 and I just want to puke. What happens to them? It's not so bad that their parents want to throw a bash for them. Hell I love to party! But these kids feel like they are so entitled and so many of them show no humility or gratitude. What I can't believe is that some parent lets their child go on national TV talking about what their parents BETTER do. If I said some ish like that now my parents would literally kill me. KILL ME DEAD. I can get grown, but that's not being grown, that's talking about your parents like they're some fool off the street. That's not respecting your parents but then, the parents don't seem like they want to be respected. They want to be liked. If your kids like you a lot when they're teenagers, parents you're doing it wrong. They have to like you enough and trust you enough to come to you, but not so much that they think they can play you and try you like you're the kid and they're the adult.
Well, speaking of shorties, I better go check on mine!
M.
My son Jordan told me he was tired of everyone talking about my book and not his. I told him he was jealous. He told me he wasn't jealous he was a journalist. I asked him what a journalist was. He said someone who writes. He told me he has a book coming out and it's called the Biggest Club in the World. He is 5. I was floored. That was the best thing he could have ever said. He's a great little artist, a good photographer, and has a great imaginination. I am now obsessed with him becoming a writer.
My "neice" Jewels sang Honkey Tonk Badonkadonk to me. Yes she's black. Yes I know and love the song. She is also 5. She cracked me the hell up. The whole time my son Jordan is like "don't say that word. ooh you said a bad word." I had to explain that Honkytonk is not the word Honky. My child detests any profanity or vulgarity. He so did not inherit that from me. Or his dad. Proof that children get here so pure and untainted. We put the garbage in their heads. Jewels also told me that men could model in tuxedos but they had to pose a certain way, and she proceded to throw up peace signs and gaze into the distance. She looked at her watch. She hit the one knee pose. She was doing it. Then she did the runway. I fell out laughing. She makes me want a daughter.
Caden, is another shorty who is 3 and too too cute. He can be very sweet and childlike one minute. But the next... He's still sweet and charming, but I swear he is chaneling a 30 year old man's spirit. Possibly Biggie Smalls. He greeted me at the door singing something I couldn't quite understand. He was very lively and animated. Even though I didn't understand what was going on I was too entertained because his hair was all wild and curly and I wanted to pinch his little cheeks thinking "aww he's singing a little nursery rhyme" and then one thing came out loud and clear. "I love it when they call me Big Poppa, throw your hands in the air if you's a true player cuz I see some ladies tonight who should be havin my baby. Baby!" Then he ran away and started playing blocks and cars with Jordan.
When Jordan was like 2, he fell in love with Usher. He watched the 8701 concert dvd everynight. He memorized it ALL. Every moan, sigh, shout, EVERYTHING. And he added in costume changes. He would put on my Fedora for My Way, his Braves hat (he made me buy one) for You Make Me Wanna, and made me a backup dancer and wardrobe stylist. He did this EVERY SINGLE DAY. Let's just put it this way, if I were at a club and You Don't Have To Call came on, you'd see that I'm actually real nice when it comes to dancing and I should be on tour with Usher or at least in his video. Folks used to come to my crib and just enjoy the show. He outgrew it though after Confessions got old. But for 2 and a half years, Usher was the man in our crib. I'm so glad Ursher took a break!
Then on the flip side I see My Super Sweet 16 and I just want to puke. What happens to them? It's not so bad that their parents want to throw a bash for them. Hell I love to party! But these kids feel like they are so entitled and so many of them show no humility or gratitude. What I can't believe is that some parent lets their child go on national TV talking about what their parents BETTER do. If I said some ish like that now my parents would literally kill me. KILL ME DEAD. I can get grown, but that's not being grown, that's talking about your parents like they're some fool off the street. That's not respecting your parents but then, the parents don't seem like they want to be respected. They want to be liked. If your kids like you a lot when they're teenagers, parents you're doing it wrong. They have to like you enough and trust you enough to come to you, but not so much that they think they can play you and try you like you're the kid and they're the adult.
Well, speaking of shorties, I better go check on mine!
M.
posted by Meta Smith @ 9:24 AM
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